![]() His cousins still talk about him, have broken down in tears, and have said how he affected their lives in such a positive way. His nieces and nephews still talk about the things Uncle Ryan did with them and how much they wish he was here to do it again. ![]() His daughter sits and stares at his picture and talks to him just the same as if he was standing next to her. Every member of his family has experienced the agony of being notified of his death, which is relived constantly, not only in dreams, but in thoughts throughout every single day. Ryan’s death killed his demons, but it unleashed others on his entire family and close friends. ![]() Ryan’s demons had won.įor anyone who may know someone or even are contemplating suicide themselves, this is not the answer. The police and paramedics arrived and began caring for Ryan. Ally ran, screaming to a nearby apartment to have them call 911. She opened her eyes and Ryan was laying on the ground with a gunshot wound through his temple. She then heard a loud snap, which she described as the sound made when someone is snapping the heels of their shoes together in a military formation. Being in shock of what was going on in front of her Ally closed her eyes, not knowing whether he was going to shoot her, himself or both of them. She told him they had Alana to think about. Ally pulled away from him and began crying and begging him not to do anything. He then took her hand and placed it on his hip. Ryan told her he had all the help he needed right there. Once, home they both went for a walk, during which they discussed the incident and Ally begged him to get help for the PTSD. Worried that she was hurt or possibly leaving him over what happened, Ryan left work and went home to check on Ally. Ally had fallen asleep and did not hear her phone ringing. Around midnight on August 6th, he tried calling Ally while on a break. Ryan went to work that evening with a very heavy heart, constantly texting and calling to repeatedly apologize. She managed to break away and eventually wake Ryan. While in a deep sleep, he began kicking Ally in the ribs and put his hands around her throat and squeezed. During the early hours of that morning, Ryan had his most severe nightmare. Since they had been together, they kept the same sleep schedule, since Ryan worked nights, so they could spend more time together. On August 5, 2015, Ryan and Ally were asleep in bed. Although he was coaxed by many to seek help he always refused, wanting to fight his battles on his own, on his own terms. The PTSD, adjustment to married life, financial setbacks and other stressors began to escalate. However, the nightmares continued to increase and become more severe. After the wedding, everyone was hopeful that the demons that haunted Ryan would be dismissed by the love and happiness he found. On December 13, 2014, Ryan and Ally exchanged vows in a beautiful Texas Hill Country wedding. Ryan took on the role of a doting father, a role for which God had prepared him. Along with Ally’s six year old daughter, Alana, they became inseparable. In April 2014, Ryan met the love of his life, Alisha (Ally). He tried the Ambien for a few days, but then stopped taking it because, as Ryan put it, the medicine made him unable to wake up from his night terrors. ![]() Finally, Ryan did see a physician about his fear of going to sleep. No amount of discussion would convince him otherwise. Ryan constantly refused, feeling that if he sought counseling, it would be viewed negatively on the career he was pursuing. Numerous family members and close friends spent countless hours talking with Ryan, trying to convince him to seek counseling. Ryan began living on Red Bull at night, just to stay awake to ward off the nightmares. Nightmares increased in severity and frequency and he would thrash about, swinging his arms and kicking his legs violently. Unfortunately, when Ryan returned home from the Marines, he also brought home some additional baggage, in the form of PTSD. He began working at South Eastern Freight Lines, where he quickly became a night shift supervisor. When Ryan returned home, and began college, he joined several charities, to include The Proof Project and Habitat for Humanity. Numerous neighbors always sought after Ryan to baby sit because of the trust they had and the love their children had for him. He would gather his nieces and nephews on the spur of the moment and take them to the park and then for ice cream. He would mow an elderly neighbor’s lawn then sit and talk with her for hours. His heart was so big his love for the elderly and children was the hallmark of his life. He even volunteered while home on leave from the Marines. While still in high school, he volunteered as a junior firefighter at two local fire departments, then as a volunteer firefighter once he turned 18. Throughout his life, Ryan always was the type of person that always wanted to help others.
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